ATX

Instead of being told "You can do anything you set your mind to!",  I was told by my parents that all of my dream professions were lofty and extravagant. Becoming a successful young lady meant having a solid career in something along the lines of insurance, law, or healthcare. So I put my big dreams to become Dallas's hottest hair stylist and acrylic artist to the side, and pursued a career within the realms in which my father also began his young adulthood. 

Being in the same industry with my father, who's worked his way from a degree-less debt collector, all the way to becoming promoted to be one of the auto loan industries leading companies Vice President, can be a lot of things. It can be a small world, in that all of the head honchos at my office know my dad, and have probably seen me in my diaper as a child. It can also be rewarding, in case I have a question on something business related and don't want to sound like a dumb ass to my peers by just asking them. But working in the same field as my dad (The Tobinator) can be very stressful in the sense that I feel as if I have a million pairs of eyes on me, at all times. The world we live in is incredibly small. I've been told my skirts too short, now it's too long, I need to wear more makeup, I need to wear less makeup.. the list goes on. Exactly how does that apply to my performance, again?

Recently I "celebrated" my 3 year anniversary at my company, where I am an auto lending analyst. 3 years of hating your job is a little too long if you ask me, so i'm taking this opportunity to peace the FUCK out and explore a new promising future in Austin, Texas. There, I will be pursuing my relationship with my amazing boyfriend Anthony, as well as begin a new career path. 

I am extremely excited about this new adventure, and hope I have all of my friends support. This will be just the refresher I need, while proving to myself that I CAN do anything I set my mind to. So, beginning December 15th, I will have the luxury of being the student, not the teacher.. being the artist, not the analyst. I'm almost 25, I'm too young to worry but also too old to not. 

I would like to invite all of my friends to help celebrate my new home in Austin, early this January! My boyfriend Anthony has been sweet enough to invite us to his home downtown, for my welcoming party/New Years celebration. So bring your stage poles and stilettos! Consider yourself booked, for new years ;) 

I love you all, and can't wait for the future! 

Also, if you know anyone who wants to lease my lovely master bedroom apartment in Irving until June, HOLLA <3

Bye bye 22lbs, HELLO DEFINITION!

21 months ago I invested in my overall health by signing my life away to a fabulous all-female franchise near my office, ultimately leading to my weight loss of 22lbs. A decision I had previously hesitated to make from a financial standpoint was suddenly put into perspective:  My body is a symbol of my overall happiness, and self-respect. And if I want people to respect me, I needed to respect myself. 

The beginning
Initially, when I began to truly start kicking my own ass in my workouts, I was attending semi-regular kick boxing classes at the local 24hr fitness. I wasn’t completely out of shape, but had MUCH room for improvement. These classes bored me, and the instructors were out of shape, which is always discouraging. There’s just something about a chunky personal trainer that screams ‘untrustworthy’.  After spotting a Groupon for The Girls Room in 2010, and having pole fitness in the back of my mind ever since, I decided to sign the dotted line and become a member.  My life was changed at the simple swipe of a debit card, and viola, I was a pole fitness enthusiast. 

The difference between a purchase and an investment
Losing weight is nearly effortless once you’ve become aware of the poison you’re currently eating, and the consequences. When I was bouncing around in 24hr fitness, wasting time and energy, I was also eating junk (in moderation, of course).  I was ‘one of those people’, who thought that if I ate crap, I could just exercise really hard that night and everything would beokay, no consequence. I mean, right? Nope.  Who the hell even said that’s how it works? Moral of the story, I had no self-discipline and I was only exercising to ‘look good’.  
It was until I joined The Girls Room, got cheated on in a long term relationship, and wanted to defy gravity (like a boss) did I begin to take myself 110% seriously. My drive came from wanting to redefine the independent, optimistic young woman I was pre- toxic relationship, and change my lifestyle-not just my body.

 

How did I lose my weight?Unfortunately, some of you happen to be dudes, who can’t frolic over to the nearest pole fitness studio and begin your weight loss journey. Some of you also happen to be opposed to pole fitness, whatever your reasons may be, and just want to know what worked for me. So let me state thatthis is an entry solely based off my personal experience.  HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) has CHANGED MY LIFE and turned my fitness around entirely. I swear by it, the proof is here! 

Did you know that your ‘diet’ is the main contributing factor in your weight loss? Did you know that food is your fuel, and that burning calories requires that fuel? Of course you know that! So wouldn’t it make sense to fuel your body with the most essential nutrients it NEEDS in order to get the most reward from your workout? I don’t know about you-but I don’t sweat 2+ hours a day to let my workout be laid to waste by a post-pole sesh cheeseburger. Learning about nutrition out of pure curiosity and dedication was literally one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Being a vegetarian for a little over 2 years, I am able to now say that I am fully in tune with my body and what it needs to execute my workout regimen. 

The question of the hour
WHAT did I do to lose the weight? I worked out regularly, 4-5 days a week(more like 6 lately) and ate whenever I was hungry. I’m talking in the past tense, as if I don’t continue these habits today-which I do (remember that word, lifestyle).  Like I said, some people do it differently, but this is how I did it. 

Specific foods 
Breakfast 
First off all, I get ALL my ingestible goodies at Sprouts or Trader Joes. If you haven’t checked out either of these places, go now. Carrying on… Every morning start out with a delightful kale smoothie, which is basically a boat load of nutrition jam packed in a glass, jump starting your metabolism and providing you TONS of energy! Sure, it sounds disgusting-and looks pretty gnarly also, but they’re delicious once you find your groove with making them.  Mine consist of:
-9 Kiwi 
-1 bundle of Lacento Kale (any kale is fine, this kind is softer and less bitter)
-4 organic bananas 
-2 oranges (I keep the peels to add to my Epsom salt baths-for the citrus, and to smell awesome.)

Blend those bad boys up after giving it all a good rinsing, and put it in a pitcher to drink throughout the week. Usually that’s not enough to hold me over till lunch time, so I also grab packs of organic steel cut oatmeal that is easily made with the hot water faucet on the coffee machine at the office. This gives me some carbs to use up after fasting all evening. 

 

 

 Lunch 

I’m usually ready to maul someone for food at this point, so basically anythingsounds good. I take advantage of this and tend to eat a large salad, or black bean quesadilla. The salad holds me over till it’s time to reload up on carbs pre-pole, but the black bean quesadilla is where it’s AT! I received a Panini press for Christmas and it has changed my life. It’s serious. Just be sure to find good tortillas with ZERO corn starch products and you’re golden.  Black beans are a tasty, excellent source of protein, free of additives or preservatives-unlike most meats. My Black Bean Quesadillas generally consist of:

-1 can Organic Black Beans (Mash & stash in fridge for use throughout the week)
-1 finely chopped Red Pepper (mix in with the black beans for easy and fresh storage)
-1 awesome tortilla
-1 fist full of chopped Spinach 
-Sprinkle some (organic, unprocessed) cheese on dat. 
Load your desired amount of goodness on half of your tortilla, fold it on over, throw it on the Panini press. Yes sir! 

After lunch, I’m content for like, 1 whole hour. Then I usually snack on almonds or a cliff bar to keep my stomach satisfied till it’s time to do work in the studio.  Fast forward to 8:30, and again I’m ready to mow anyone in my path of food. Around this time, I’m wrapping up dance and hauling home to cook for myself as well as my younger brother (22), who is also my roommate.

It is important to eat 30-45 minutes after a strenuous workout to replenish the energy and nutrients your body has burned, and believe it or not-doing this can be hard. Between my carpet line/vacuum obsession and cleaning Stifler Cats litter box, starting dinner can be a task. My advice: prep the kitchen, and while everything is heating up-do your tasking. While everything is cooking, clean your area.

Dinner is usually inhaled standing up in the kitchen while reading emails and starting laundry.  Here are a couple vague examples of my dinner. I usually post a picture of my hurried masterpieces on instagram (but of course) @JonnaPage
Dinner 
a. 
-Cage free eggs 
-Finely chopped organic Spinach 
-Finely chopped Tomato 
-Cholula. And sprinkle cheese on dat too 

b.
-Baked potato
-Organic plain yogurt (as a substitute for sour cream-tastes just the same)
-Little bit of cheese 
-Pepper to taste
-Steamed broccoli on the side

After dinner and 10:00PM rolls around, and I’ve completed uploading the day’s pole tricks on YouTube of course, I’m hungry again. Insert veggie chips and delicious vegetable dips here.  I shamelessly snack on these all throughout the day. I was POSITIVE my cellulite would hang around if I continued to eat these items, but SURPRISINGLY it vanished entirely!

Also, let’s not kid ourselves. A woman needs chocolate. I keep a stash of chocolate covered raisins at an arms distance at all times. If you think I’m exaggerating, then you may not know me that well.

 

I have admitted to a few “fitness no-no’s”, considering a. I eat all hours throughout being awake b. I eat (natural, unprocessed sugar). These are some things I overlook considering all my other efforts to be healthy. In my PERSONAL opinion, I think it’s okay if I snack all throughout the day if it prevents me from eating a whole pizza. Which I can do. In a matter of minutes. It happens…

All that being said, this is what worked for me, and is continuing to work.  I’m sure I forgot some things in my modesty; it is still surprising to be asked by so many people what my fitness tips are. If you have any questions, please ask! 

Thanks for reading something very personal and meaningful to me <3

Oh, did I mention...

The common misconception about bisexuals is that we’re confused, or even ignorant. Some gays and lesbians may argue that bisexuals wants the privileges of a same sex relationship, but are too afraid to receive the torment and social turmoil. To some more open minded folks; bisexuality is purely the act of expression romantic feelings towards a human, irrespective to their gender. Bisexuality has been around for years and years, discovered both in the human societies as well as the animal kingdom.

Childhood

Growing up in the middle of Rhome, TX meant you had dirt hills for entertainment, and a guaranteed twenty minute drive before reaching the nearest (although not the most recommended) convenient store. Cheap fun was found in ‘playing Barbies’ with the neighborhood girls, who I still remain incredibly close with to this day. Even then, I can remember having what I thought to be ‘inappropriate thoughts’ about the same sex. I recall a day when my mother accidentally stumbled across a game of Barbie-doll playing that involved only two Barbie’s, with Ken nowhere to be found. It was the next day that I had my first talk about the birds and the bees. Even at my young age, the conversation was slightly uncomfortable, brief while completely in sync.

Looking back now at the memories the showed a glimmer of the future unmasking of my sexual orientation, I realize that those thoughts were not inappropriate-but completely natural. Anyone can argue the rush of hormones and curiosity of becoming an adult; but most would never fathom that all the while straight people are embracing their emerging sexuality, gays and lesbians are shunned and told to be ashamed of their natural and purely human desires. It is whenever a LGBT member ‘comes out’ for the first time, to join the rest of humanity in honestly expressing themselves is when they can truly breathe easier. The term ‘coming out’ is ultimately saddening to me, suggesting that anyone’s sexuality is publicly impacting enough that is actually matters to society. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

When I knew
I came to terms with the fact that I am attracted to women at age 18. Growing up and recalling instances that made me face my sexuality failed to escape my memory, thus leading me to learn more and more about bisexuality. After understanding the term, I immediately claimed the title proudly-but quietly. I even managed to score a girlfriend for about 6 months, but didn’t have much in common. After my first homosexual relationship, I knew two things 1. I’m into chicks, and 2. I’m not going to lie to myself and everyone else by pretending I’m not.

Coming out

I decided to come out for sure after meeting my girlfriend’s mom and grandmother this past weekend. I was invited to attend the upcoming SMU game with Tina and her family, while they remain under the impression her and I were just friends. I got along with the family famously, all the while Tina’s mother was completely aware of the situation. Our charade was over before it even began, and it all started to hit the fan the next morning when Tina got home. After Tina had endured an hour and a half of reprimanding, I received a distressful text explaining the altercation that had just taken place. Lucky for us, her mom was accepting of who she is, but will need some time to fully accept the lifestyle change-WE’LL TAKE IT!

            Consoling Tina about her recent argument with her mom over text wasn’t cutting it for me, so I decided to bring her roses at her work and then it hit me; I should come out, too. I was presented the perfect opportunity when my dad asked me to pick him up at the airport that very evening. The plan was to spill the beans once we had gotten alone in the car-but after seeing Tina’s face after crying because of what we had already experienced together, I decided to make the call as soon as she hugged me goodbye. I couldn't let her go through it completely alone.

“Hey dad, what are you doing?” I immediately blurted after my dad’s initial greeting. “With Uncle Alex, heading to the airport. Everything okay?” my dad answered. He always knows when my nerves are heightened. “Yeah, everything is fine, I just have something really, uh, awesome to tell you.” I spit out anything I could manage, all to me from bursting into tears and screaming “I hope you’re not disappointed in me”. After brutally executing the first phone call with my dad, I headed home to face the second phone call that will be forever remembered in my family. After passing through security and all the other lovely things that come with boarding a flight, my dad gave me a call.

“What is it sweetie?” My dad asked eagerly, waiting for me to divulge in the ‘awesome’ thing I just had to get out.“Well, you always support me in what I do, so I’m really hoping you don’t freak out, but um..” “WHAT, Jonna?” My dad blurted out of worry. Here goes.. “I wanted to call and tell you before boarding your plane, that I’ve been dating a woman, and this has been happening off and on for a few years. I wanted to give you time alone on your plane to think about how you feel.” Hysterical in a moments time, I began to sob on the phone to my dad begging him to not hate me. In an almost relieved tone, my dad went on to comfort me by saying “That’s what you had to tell me? It’s okay sweetie”

It’s been advised to people in my situation to ‘worry about the opinions and beliefs of others’ and be cautious who I express my sexuality around. It’s be said before that bisexuality doesn't even exist. However, I live in the present and I say that’s bullshit. People will respect you as long as you respect yourself by being true to yourself and living your life as you wish to live it.

Prison of sorts

Head phones in. 

Trapped in my cubicle, I sit anxiously with my feet glued to the cheap carpet floor. My shoulders adjust every so often to find a new position without lacking slight discomfort. My ankles tap to the consistent beat of the music, as if all the momentum I’m dying to put in motion is being channeled directly through them.  Staring at my screen and mapping out the 8 counts of the songs I’m absorbing, I begin to contemplate articulate choreography, only to be forgotten minutes later. 

But not to worry-with inspiring music comes ideas, fueled by the potential and fluidity of the rhythm.

It is taking all of me not to leave this suffocating establishment and pursue my passion.

Meaty.

Why Is meat bad for you?

How I decided it was bad for me           

About two years ago, while in a serious relationship with an avid meat-eater, I decided meat just wasn’t my thing anymore. Weird. As a steak loving, bacon devouring Texan, I had a difficult time coming to terms with my new beliefs in how I should carry on my lifestyle. I felt this inner obligation to consume meat with every meal, and was led to believe for almost my entire life that meat was what helped you survive. Now, I’m embarrassed of my past, where I was sure to eat and drink everything in my path soobliviously. Oblivious to the lack of nutrients, and surplus of preservatives loaded into every product I consumed. It hadn’t occurred to me for 21 years of living that food is my fuel, and if I fill it with nothing, I will feel like nothing. Which leads me to why I explored different dieting practices in the first place- shall we…

            While fluctuating 10-15 lbs. here and there throughout my young adult life, I began to feel my self-esteem plummet. Loathing my new found discomfort, I discovered a Groupon for a local pole fitness class. It was $50, which was like, ALL of my beer money for the weekend. “Is it worth it?” I asked. I listed the pros and cons, and decided to buy the damn thing already. I am so glad I made that $50 investment toward my future in pole fitness, because without it I would not be where I am today. That being said, my new found love and passion for the pole (yeah yeah, laugh it up) required some self-discipline. Meaning, if I wanted to get my happy ass upside down in the air, dangling by a single knee pit, I needed to get lighter, and gain BOAT LOADS of more energy. But that’s not all…

            Most of you know my mother passed away in 2007 while I was a junior in high school. What you may not know, is how she passed away. A week after she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes she had been mis-perscribed for her new illness, in combination with other existing illnesses. This led me to research the causes and effects of Type 2 Diabetes and how I could prevent me and my loved ones from further getting it. Know what I found? Eating a whole foods, plant based diet not only prevents cancerous diseases, but also reverses them. That’s right-living, breathing people existing in this world have reversed their Type 2 Diabetes by cleaning up their diet completely. And it all makes so much sense when you look at it from a bird’s eye view in a political perspective, but that’s for a separate blog post completely… But onward to the facts.

I’m going to do my best to cover all misconceptions of vegetarianism in this simple little post, but forgive me if I leave some out, because there are just too many haters out there to cover it all…

1.) You need meat to live
This one makes me smile it’s so dumb. You need certain nutrients to survive(carbohydrates, fats, fiber, proteins, water, vitamins) which can all be obtained with a vegetarian life style. If you actually pay attention to your portions and what your food literally consists of, you will be just fine. While red meat is an excellent source of Iron, Foods such as spinach, kale, cauliflower and potatoes provide all the necessities as well. Women typically need 18 MG of iron per day due to their period every month, while Men really only need 8 MG. Whatever.

2.) If you don’t eat meat you won’t have energy and appear malnutritioned
On the contrary! First of all, what even GIVES humans energy? Food. The cleaner you eat, the better your body can digest all the nutrients it needs to fuel your 8 hour work day, 2 hour workout-sesh in time to drag yourself into the tub for an Epsom salt bath. Inhaling a #1 from the chick-fil-a drive through before putting in a wasteful hour on the treadmill will have you running in place. No pun intended, OHHHH.

3.) You will be protein deficient
Did you know the daily allowance of protein is .36 grams per pound (of body weight), and about .63 grams for athletes? Did you also know that the typical American diet is overflowing in ‘precious’ protein? Did you ALSO, also know that men, later to be diagnosed with cardiovascular disease (caused by bad dieting) experience erectile dysfunction, meaning even MORE pills?! I don’t know about you, but if a man eating a salad prevents that kind of thing, then bring on the spinach.  Moral of the story, we get enough protein as long as we’re not eating Cheetos and spaghetti all day. Read more here!

So here’s my question to you:
Why is meat bad for you?

Beside the fact that it’s loaded with saturated fat and sodium, there is also con’s regarding the way the meat was raised. Let me going ahead and state that I am not a vegetarian because I believe eating meat is cruel to animals-sorry. My concerns consist of questions like: Were the animals fed a healthy diet? Or were they fed corn, loaded in unnecessary, cheap and convenient sugars that are then passed onto the human? Were the animals raised in FDA approved (joke!), sanitary conditions? Or were they chain linked ankle-to-ankle, paralyzing, and forcing them to live and eat their own waste? Yeah, I wouldn’t want to think about it either. So I don’t!

There are many ways you can perceive a vegetarian-But ‘dumb’ or ‘lazy’ are not one of them.
It takes time and effort to self-educate as well as maintain self-discipline (in the beginning).   In fact, I think vegetarians are the complete opposite of dumb and lazy, aren’t they/we? Do we not consider each meal carefully by its contents and how it will benefit our nutrient intake for the day? Do we not go lengths to ensure our vegetables come from a reliable source? I’ve spent 2 hours, TWO HOURS at a grocery store reading the labels and googling their entire EVERYTHING-on more than one occasion.

I think the real problem meat eaters have with vegetarians is that-
1.) Some of us may impose our lifestyle upon others-as do members of any particular groups or religion. Understandable.
2.) They are not educated on the topic, and think food is just a thing that you do.

So when you ask, “Jonna, why don’t you eat meat?” I probably will give you some vague answer, and later on send you this link. I don’t avoid meat because the animal itself is bad for you; I avoid meat because people don’t know how to safely get it to the farm and onto my plate in a humane fashion. From the unsanitary living conditions, to the preservatives and genetically modified plant/animal feed-there are so many disgusting and eerie details involved in how exactly you got that burger from the drive-thru window. In an effort to stay out of the Dr.’s office that America so romantically clings to, I stay a step ahead of the game and remain aware of the nutrients I’m feeding my body, as well as the toxic I’m shielding out. And if I could do anything with my continuing hunger for knowledge regarding human health, I would go back in time and help my mom make the right decisions so that she could be here to see me dance today.

Rest in peace Kristin Dawn Page

Neon pants and a bad choice of words

Rant,

 

Stomach growls. I haven’t eaten actual food since lunchtime the day before. Grabbing my wallet and making my way towards the elevator, my coworker GS joins me. Him and I usually take our coffee breaks together and chat about his recent engagement, health, food, fitness-you know stuff we actually enjoy talking about, unlike all the other small talk frequented throughout my office walls. Entering the lobby café with full intentions of getting a bagel (yeah, carb city, I know) I approach the waitress also noticing a lovely woman to my right. It was hard not to notice her; I mean she was wearing neon pants after all.

While contemplating whether or not to get cream cheese on my toasted bagel, GS leans towards my ear and softly says “When I used to work at so-and-so, a company that does blah-blah-blah, all the coworkers there were women her age, and wore clothes just like hers, it was so awesome. Coming to work didn’t such nearly as bad”

Maybe it was the fact that I was running on an empty stomach, or maybe it was the simple fact that I’m a female, a little bitch switch flipped. Calmly, I said to GS “Yes. Women dress like that in 2013 that is the style.”Trying to shrug it off and focus on my food order.

He rolled his eyes and searched for more words to describe her particular style, which isn’t really much style considering it’s the trend for today, and she could have walked into any retail store with her eyes clothes and left with the outfit she had on. “Like, her watch, and those shoes, and her pants…” he added.

Was what he was saying provocative? No. Was it directlydemeaning towards the woman? Absolutely not. Why was I so peeved that he was sharing his opinion on this woman with me? It is so hard to explain, but I will surely try… let’s start with a little daily dose of perspective.

 

-     Running out to my car last night in my pajamas around 11PM to retrieve my phone charger, I heard shouting coming from a nearby balcony. The generic rants such as “OH DAMN BABY” and “COME UP HERE AND DRINK WITH US” didn’t really surprise me, but were pretty annoying. All I could think to myself was “Raise your standard dude-I’m in sweat pants rockin’ a bun on my head” Still; I went about my business and did not acknowledge the imbeciles. 
Moving onward.

-     Last week three women were recovered from captivity. A middle aged man, father to a beautiful daughter, kidnapped 3 women for his own sick pleasure and forced one poor girl to have his baby. For ten years. For ten years, those women were degraded, raped, beaten and starved simply because of their poor luck and outer beauty, ALL by a man who looks like any Joe ‘Shmoe out there. This story weighs heavy on my heart as it does all women, and is a perfect example of why us women must stick together and stay strong today. 
Disgusting. Moving on.

-     Every day when I come to work and get settled in, I see a shadow behind me slowly start to form. The pace and the shape give away the person as they creepily waddle towards my cubicle. It’s JS. He is one of those fitness freaks that eat 12 eggs whites a day, ignorant to the fact that the whole egg serves fantastic protein (look it up). His stride is something resembling the terminator and a constipated wind-up doll. His speech is even slower, making it easy to finish his sentences for him because his words are delivered at such a glacial pace. Maybe I’m impatient, but all the women here love making fun of him. 
    Traveling to his coworker’s desk for their morning chat, he slowly paces behind my desk making a wide turn in order to gaze into my work area. Could you make it more obvious, creeper? Apparently not, my suspicions were confirmed when two of my male colleagues approached me after noticing the same thing. They also threw in that JS had a developing curiosity about me and asked them about my personal life from time to time. 
    The other day he held the door open for me. I turned around to catch his gaze and noticed as he trailed behind me that he was indeed, staring at my ass. 
What a pest. Moving on.

 

Given the day to day routine of a woman and all the (little or big) opportunities of sexism to endure, it is easy to see why a woman should be defensive and stand up for her sisters. Right? No actually, evidently it’s NOT that easy to see, based on this highlighted conversation with my male coworker. Did he say he wanted to sink his teeth in and ravish our new friend in the café? No. But his simple comment proves the ignorance and lack of consideration men have towards women in the workplace and their efforts to blend into the workplace. It’s almost like the simple fact of knowing someone is judging you by your frame and clothing grosses me out. Am I alone? Also it makes me uncomfortable to be in the presence of a man who is soon to be married to his girlfriend of 10 years, talking to me about the attractiveness of other women and how he should be allowed to express his appreciation. I am having trouble finding the words within to portray my disappointment and disinterest in these small minded people.

You might ask “Well, what if a woman said that about a man or men in general?” Good point, let’s play out that role reversal, shall we? “When I used to work at so-and-so, a company that does blah-blah-blah, all the coworkers there were men his age, and wore clothes just like his, it was so awesome. Coming to work didn’t such nearly as bad” A guy would be far too pleased with himself knowing a woman took notice in their wardrobe and physique. In fact, they’d actually think they’d have a shot and probably ask you out for drinks. Men welcome the sexual attention while most women do everything in their power just to be equal. Do I love embracing my sexuality and expressing myself? Abso-freakin-lutely! But that is something I consider private and should not be unfolded or played with in the mind of a man, let alone who I don’t even know. 

So, this is a shout out to the hot chick with neon pants who doesn’t realize my ‘friend’ was staring at her rack.

Am I tripping? 

R.M.

After working 8 hours reviewing credit and 3 hours of teaching dance this past Friday, I was determined to get some damn chips and queso. I had just wrapped up teaching a bachelorette party at The Girls Room Dallas location and figured I'd whip in hooters to grab some chips n cheese dip. Ah wait, they don't have queso. Crap. I whipped in the Tilted Kilt (another local breastaurant), crossing my fingers hoping they'd get me my fix on my queso, and maybe even have a hottie at the bar.

I sat alone at the corner of the bar farthest from the front door, and did some people watching while I waited for the bartender to approach me. Nothing incredibly entertaining. Then again I do live in Lewisville, which is a small yet conveniently located semi-shitastic town on the outskirts of grapevine. I grabbed a Three Olives Cake & Pineapple while I waited for my black bean veggie wrap. "HEY that's not queso"-YEAH, I know. I'm a woman, I'm indecisive. Just let it happen. I take the first sip of my cocktail and see someone sit down at the bar just to the right of me. My first thought is "Great."

"Hi" he says to me, nodding. I turn to acknowledge him and embarrassingly do a double take after realizing how handsome he is. "Holy shit... Holy shit... Holy" I'm thinking. "Don't be awkward, idiot."

"Hi." I say back, doing some little 'SUP?' nod, like an awkward idiot. Naturally, I cram my straw in my mouth to try and occupy my face from doing ANYTHING BUT talk to this smoking hot gentleman beside me, saying hello to me. 'Since when did I become so lame and shy? Ugh.' I think to myself. I SERIOUSLY have to make fun of myself into doing some things. That's ridiculous. I turn to face him and ask him "What's up?", do a head to toe check out and am just wondering if he's a gift from God at this point. What other explanation is there? As someone who never gets drinks or dines alone, I find it extremely interesting that a young, handsome, well dressed, engineer found his way to the bar stool beside me. And didn't even say anything distasteful about my pole shorts I was wearing. Brownie points right there.

"How's it goin?" He asks. Two drinks and a to-go bag later, Mr. Sexy stranger is walking me to my car, where we proceed to exchange number, and even a little goodnight kiss. Never did I ever plan to indulge in my romantic personal life (other than that awesome post about my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and breaking up with me over a company email, that shit is just too rich) but HERE I AM, telling you about my awesome, random, experience. Because I'm sure half the people bored enough to read this haven't done anything like this.

The following night (Saturday) we went out to dinner and had some drinks afterwards. I had a great time and can honestly say that there was not a dull moment. It is what it is, he's iight, but I'm in no rush.