Oh, did I mention...

The common misconception about bisexuals is that we’re confused, or even ignorant. Some gays and lesbians may argue that bisexuals wants the privileges of a same sex relationship, but are too afraid to receive the torment and social turmoil. To some more open minded folks; bisexuality is purely the act of expression romantic feelings towards a human, irrespective to their gender. Bisexuality has been around for years and years, discovered both in the human societies as well as the animal kingdom.

Childhood

Growing up in the middle of Rhome, TX meant you had dirt hills for entertainment, and a guaranteed twenty minute drive before reaching the nearest (although not the most recommended) convenient store. Cheap fun was found in ‘playing Barbies’ with the neighborhood girls, who I still remain incredibly close with to this day. Even then, I can remember having what I thought to be ‘inappropriate thoughts’ about the same sex. I recall a day when my mother accidentally stumbled across a game of Barbie-doll playing that involved only two Barbie’s, with Ken nowhere to be found. It was the next day that I had my first talk about the birds and the bees. Even at my young age, the conversation was slightly uncomfortable, brief while completely in sync.

Looking back now at the memories the showed a glimmer of the future unmasking of my sexual orientation, I realize that those thoughts were not inappropriate-but completely natural. Anyone can argue the rush of hormones and curiosity of becoming an adult; but most would never fathom that all the while straight people are embracing their emerging sexuality, gays and lesbians are shunned and told to be ashamed of their natural and purely human desires. It is whenever a LGBT member ‘comes out’ for the first time, to join the rest of humanity in honestly expressing themselves is when they can truly breathe easier. The term ‘coming out’ is ultimately saddening to me, suggesting that anyone’s sexuality is publicly impacting enough that is actually matters to society. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

When I knew
I came to terms with the fact that I am attracted to women at age 18. Growing up and recalling instances that made me face my sexuality failed to escape my memory, thus leading me to learn more and more about bisexuality. After understanding the term, I immediately claimed the title proudly-but quietly. I even managed to score a girlfriend for about 6 months, but didn’t have much in common. After my first homosexual relationship, I knew two things 1. I’m into chicks, and 2. I’m not going to lie to myself and everyone else by pretending I’m not.

Coming out

I decided to come out for sure after meeting my girlfriend’s mom and grandmother this past weekend. I was invited to attend the upcoming SMU game with Tina and her family, while they remain under the impression her and I were just friends. I got along with the family famously, all the while Tina’s mother was completely aware of the situation. Our charade was over before it even began, and it all started to hit the fan the next morning when Tina got home. After Tina had endured an hour and a half of reprimanding, I received a distressful text explaining the altercation that had just taken place. Lucky for us, her mom was accepting of who she is, but will need some time to fully accept the lifestyle change-WE’LL TAKE IT!

            Consoling Tina about her recent argument with her mom over text wasn’t cutting it for me, so I decided to bring her roses at her work and then it hit me; I should come out, too. I was presented the perfect opportunity when my dad asked me to pick him up at the airport that very evening. The plan was to spill the beans once we had gotten alone in the car-but after seeing Tina’s face after crying because of what we had already experienced together, I decided to make the call as soon as she hugged me goodbye. I couldn't let her go through it completely alone.

“Hey dad, what are you doing?” I immediately blurted after my dad’s initial greeting. “With Uncle Alex, heading to the airport. Everything okay?” my dad answered. He always knows when my nerves are heightened. “Yeah, everything is fine, I just have something really, uh, awesome to tell you.” I spit out anything I could manage, all to me from bursting into tears and screaming “I hope you’re not disappointed in me”. After brutally executing the first phone call with my dad, I headed home to face the second phone call that will be forever remembered in my family. After passing through security and all the other lovely things that come with boarding a flight, my dad gave me a call.

“What is it sweetie?” My dad asked eagerly, waiting for me to divulge in the ‘awesome’ thing I just had to get out.“Well, you always support me in what I do, so I’m really hoping you don’t freak out, but um..” “WHAT, Jonna?” My dad blurted out of worry. Here goes.. “I wanted to call and tell you before boarding your plane, that I’ve been dating a woman, and this has been happening off and on for a few years. I wanted to give you time alone on your plane to think about how you feel.” Hysterical in a moments time, I began to sob on the phone to my dad begging him to not hate me. In an almost relieved tone, my dad went on to comfort me by saying “That’s what you had to tell me? It’s okay sweetie”

It’s been advised to people in my situation to ‘worry about the opinions and beliefs of others’ and be cautious who I express my sexuality around. It’s be said before that bisexuality doesn't even exist. However, I live in the present and I say that’s bullshit. People will respect you as long as you respect yourself by being true to yourself and living your life as you wish to live it.