Rant,
Stomach growls. I haven’t eaten actual food since lunchtime the day before. Grabbing my wallet and making my way towards the elevator, my coworker GS joins me. Him and I usually take our coffee breaks together and chat about his recent engagement, health, food, fitness-you know stuff we actually enjoy talking about, unlike all the other small talk frequented throughout my office walls. Entering the lobby café with full intentions of getting a bagel (yeah, carb city, I know) I approach the waitress also noticing a lovely woman to my right. It was hard not to notice her; I mean she was wearing neon pants after all.
While contemplating whether or not to get cream cheese on my toasted bagel, GS leans towards my ear and softly says “When I used to work at so-and-so, a company that does blah-blah-blah, all the coworkers there were women her age, and wore clothes just like hers, it was so awesome. Coming to work didn’t such nearly as bad”
Maybe it was the fact that I was running on an empty stomach, or maybe it was the simple fact that I’m a female, a little bitch switch flipped. Calmly, I said to GS “Yes. Women dress like that in 2013 that is the style.”Trying to shrug it off and focus on my food order.
He rolled his eyes and searched for more words to describe her particular style, which isn’t really much style considering it’s the trend for today, and she could have walked into any retail store with her eyes clothes and left with the outfit she had on. “Like, her watch, and those shoes, and her pants…” he added.
Was what he was saying provocative? No. Was it directlydemeaning towards the woman? Absolutely not. Why was I so peeved that he was sharing his opinion on this woman with me? It is so hard to explain, but I will surely try… let’s start with a little daily dose of perspective.
- Running out to my car last night in my pajamas around 11PM to retrieve my phone charger, I heard shouting coming from a nearby balcony. The generic rants such as “OH DAMN BABY” and “COME UP HERE AND DRINK WITH US” didn’t really surprise me, but were pretty annoying. All I could think to myself was “Raise your standard dude-I’m in sweat pants rockin’ a bun on my head” Still; I went about my business and did not acknowledge the imbeciles.
Moving onward.
- Last week three women were recovered from captivity. A middle aged man, father to a beautiful daughter, kidnapped 3 women for his own sick pleasure and forced one poor girl to have his baby. For ten years. For ten years, those women were degraded, raped, beaten and starved simply because of their poor luck and outer beauty, ALL by a man who looks like any Joe ‘Shmoe out there. This story weighs heavy on my heart as it does all women, and is a perfect example of why us women must stick together and stay strong today.
Disgusting. Moving on.
- Every day when I come to work and get settled in, I see a shadow behind me slowly start to form. The pace and the shape give away the person as they creepily waddle towards my cubicle. It’s JS. He is one of those fitness freaks that eat 12 eggs whites a day, ignorant to the fact that the whole egg serves fantastic protein (look it up). His stride is something resembling the terminator and a constipated wind-up doll. His speech is even slower, making it easy to finish his sentences for him because his words are delivered at such a glacial pace. Maybe I’m impatient, but all the women here love making fun of him.
Traveling to his coworker’s desk for their morning chat, he slowly paces behind my desk making a wide turn in order to gaze into my work area. Could you make it more obvious, creeper? Apparently not, my suspicions were confirmed when two of my male colleagues approached me after noticing the same thing. They also threw in that JS had a developing curiosity about me and asked them about my personal life from time to time.
The other day he held the door open for me. I turned around to catch his gaze and noticed as he trailed behind me that he was indeed, staring at my ass.
What a pest. Moving on.
Given the day to day routine of a woman and all the (little or big) opportunities of sexism to endure, it is easy to see why a woman should be defensive and stand up for her sisters. Right? No actually, evidently it’s NOT that easy to see, based on this highlighted conversation with my male coworker. Did he say he wanted to sink his teeth in and ravish our new friend in the café? No. But his simple comment proves the ignorance and lack of consideration men have towards women in the workplace and their efforts to blend into the workplace. It’s almost like the simple fact of knowing someone is judging you by your frame and clothing grosses me out. Am I alone? Also it makes me uncomfortable to be in the presence of a man who is soon to be married to his girlfriend of 10 years, talking to me about the attractiveness of other women and how he should be allowed to express his appreciation. I am having trouble finding the words within to portray my disappointment and disinterest in these small minded people.
You might ask “Well, what if a woman said that about a man or men in general?” Good point, let’s play out that role reversal, shall we? “When I used to work at so-and-so, a company that does blah-blah-blah, all the coworkers there were men his age, and wore clothes just like his, it was so awesome. Coming to work didn’t such nearly as bad” A guy would be far too pleased with himself knowing a woman took notice in their wardrobe and physique. In fact, they’d actually think they’d have a shot and probably ask you out for drinks. Men welcome the sexual attention while most women do everything in their power just to be equal. Do I love embracing my sexuality and expressing myself? Abso-freakin-lutely! But that is something I consider private and should not be unfolded or played with in the mind of a man, let alone who I don’t even know.
So, this is a shout out to the hot chick with neon pants who doesn’t realize my ‘friend’ was staring at her rack.
Am I tripping?
Homeboy has no buffer. I would expect much more from someone who is engaged, ESPECIALLY in a professional environment. I say his thoughts are perfectly justified lest he betrays his own biological imperative but he could have done so in quiet admiration and reflected on this scene on a later date.
ReplyDeleteHomeboy 2 certainly is making his intentions as clear as he can get away with. If it's bothering you tell him off. He's a big boy, he'll live.
As far your irate demeanor in light of these events, I can see your plight. Some dudes just cant keep it themselves which obviously seems to be their downfalls.